The power of suddenly
‘I apologise’. You always used to say ‘I apologise’ and I could never work out why your apologies made me feel so ashamed. I thought it was the phrase: ‘I apologise’-too formal perhaps? Too long a word? Too many words? ‘sorry’ would be better, anything would be better than the unnerving ‘I apologise’. And now I realise that it wasn’t ‘I apologise’ or any other version of asking for forgiveness, it was you – an unapologetic apology.
Nothing’s ever simple
When angels drop from the sky they land in little girls’ bedrooms. The atmosphere is impregnated with wonder as cherubims and seraphims and deepest darkest dreams are born. It’s their little secret. No one will ever understand the exchange of heaven for earth in that celestial liaison. Only the divine swell of her mind will prove her new almighty power.
Even if all I had was shrapnel…
Good to hear your voice again, sir. I’d sort of forgotten what it was like for you to live. A little disconcerting as you’re only saying old things; nothing new. Stay awhile, let us relive our friendship. No? You can’t? You’re not a man, just a voice in an old whatsapp conversation. Ah, I see. How could I forget?
* * *
You roll into memory like the waves.
* * *
You wanted to do you and I wanted to do you so there was no one doing me.
You wanted to do you and I wanted you to do me.
Don’t be distracted.
* * *
Thank you, Barbara. A woman’s work.
* * *
Meet me on the moon. I’ll bring the sun.
Preferred the title to the story
Dearly beloved we are gathered here to witness the union of two best friends that will never have to separate or bear to be apart ever again.
Minds made of soil, beware of seeds.
Every hopeful comes to her lair offering bits of hair and scraps of truth they’ve been holding on to. And she pops them in her cauldron enjoying the earnest in their eyes as she dispels the lies that have inspired their plight. Poor passionate subjects that she alleviates with her book of rhymes and a spoon under the light of the moon. She rectifies the wrongs of the heart and calls light out of dark smiling as each departs, satisfied, successful, rewarded for their wanting. But wanting she remains till she no longer remembers what wanting means, too old, too cold, too far beyond wanting.
I match my tears with laughter
You’ve got it all if you’ve got soul
I want to fight you in the morning light but my weapons are disappearing and now you are so surreal it’s barely you. And my pain is being eclipsed by the reality of earth’s orbit. And if only I could go back a few long dark minutes that lasted for hours I’d find you again at my knife point, or would it still be you? Or would you have shape shifted into another lover or become a beast with the backs of all my lovers? So frightened to admit I almost killed you, so dissatisfied that I never got to see what I would have done after plunging into your heart and gaining a victory that only seems to matter in my mind. Because in the light of the morning sun my greatest act is trivialised and my eyes cannot testify to the man I witnessed writhing beneath me. Reality was fractured in the crossover and now an event is just a feeling.
How to get yours
Be led by your deficiency. Embrace the ache in your bones. Use it to crawl to your remedy.
Don’t wait for the sun. You are the master of the clouds. Part them.
There is more than one source of vitamin D. Get it however you can. There’s no such thing as overdose.
Key: Vitamin D represents anything your body, mind and soul wants.