Monthly Archives: March 2016

Sister Lover

imageIf we weren’t lovers I’d call us twins trapped in the same womb, born of the same blood. The two of us in an ongoing tussle tumbling round and round, all our colours swishing into each other and swapping places.

And if you left now it would break the heart we share that keeps ours beating.

But I’d find a way to live without your hand in mine and your bum in my face and my flesh pressed into your flesh and your thoughts in my head and our feelings squashing us into this embryonic space.

Maybe we’ve outgrown each other, maybe we can’t live without each other, maybe we’ve killed each other, maybe we love each other.

I’ll never need you because I’ll always have you; I’ll never miss you because you’ll always be there. Even after birth when the need for separation would pull us apart, even then would we be exactly the same. Just less natural.



They asked me if I wanted to see you on the screen
The absence of where a baby should have been
My amplified problem that shouldn’t cause me
any concern.

You all spread out and white like a silken web
But wet, still womby, like a womb and red
They turned it back. That’s enough of that bit
of me.



If you don’t come back soon I’m going to kill our dream. Before you’ve even fully envisioned it I’m going to cut it out black from that colouring book we loved. Why won’t you comply? Why won’t you be complicit in my illusion? Completely. I allude to you, only you, all the time. It’s harrowing. We’re the opposite of a rainbow. I don’t even know who you are whilst knowing everything in your little little mind. That’s what I…i…i…